Broken thoughts, broken dreams, broken feelings that’s where I am at right now. Not here or maybe too here, I don’t know. I once had something and it became lost a long time ago. And everywhere I go is a reflection of the past that stands in my way, like a constant storm ready for the sun to shine. I don’t understand where it all must go, and it holds me down enough to float away in the distance. Where is she!

Freedom is more than a word

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I’ve wondered if they’re answers to the command button in my mind. I’ve split almost everything into two. And still by doing that, I’m faced with a wall. What can be truth, what can be used to be you? For the mere reason alone, I’m left with the definition of being alone. Maybe what’s not around me but what is in my mind. And if I think and feel that way I truly underestimate my fraction of reality. Who told us everything is everything, when in doubt there are more to life then good an bad. So from here I’m left with making a decision……..the most difficult task

I am a creative being. That’s a gift i received when i came out of my mom. although, i never applied my creativity until i was around 22 years old. You see my life was consumed with motocross. I ate, slept, breathed to ride a motorcycle, I loved it. it was my life and it was all i knew. well that was until i couldn’t do it anymore. I broke my back twice, two shoulder surgeries, foot had to be operated on as well as my left wrist. Ultimately the doctor wouldn’t give me a clearance to ride. And since I was under a contract with all my sponsors they had to let me go. And that was a big let down, I couldn’t get over the fact that my life was being taken away from me. So, then I actually had to find out who I was. And to be honest with you at such a late age figuring yourself out in a new way was quite the challenge.

So back to me being creative. I hung out with a friend that i went to middle school with and she is a super creative person. You could say she opened me up, plain and simple. So now, I write in a journal couple days a week. Taught myself how to play the piano and guitar. And most recently started painting which I’m super into. Here is what I painted last night. I don’t know if it’s finished or not but it’s a start.